Horoscopes

Alex: That road-rage incident was the right thing to do. Your stars are aligned this weekend and an unexpected windfall in the form of a checkout clerk’s mistake is possible. Avoid public parks that have sporting events; if you must gamble do it through your bookie. That’s not Ed McMahon at your door - it’s your paperboy that you have forgotten for a few weeks now. Offer him liquor so your deliveries don’t stop.

Paul: Remember, you are absolutely right. If anyone argues with you, remind them of your superiority or cuff them upside the head. Should you shoplift this weekend, Venus will look favorably on you and you will not set off security alarms. That item under your fridge is a dead mouse.

RodMe: Light a candle in honor of James Coburn this weekend. Leo in your financial sector may cause you spend needlessly on take out or delivered meals. Try to spend time in the kitchen but avoid canned sardines - you may have unexpected accidents with the can. A relative may tell you a secret, be prepared and medicate beforehand.

Honorary reader horoscope

Actor212: That man staring at you on the subway was your bridge partner in a former life. Try and concentrate on things that have eluded you, like that woman a few buildings down that gets dressed near the window. A public access show may call you to be a guest.