All the bad news

Guess what they want you to do on the Great whatever smokeout? Yeah, that’s right: Smokers Urged To Quit During Great American Smokeout. No! I was hoping they’d go around w/cigarettes, telling us it was finally okay. More bad vagina news: along with the gallbladder, this time they’re using the expressway to my gspot to take out my uterus. What next - a kid? No thank you, I’d rather keep my “it will fade” scar. Oh my god! NO! Catholic bishops say voters’ souls at stake! Well, we knew that, but what about the candidates? Or the Pope who won’t go to Boston? There’s lots of damned souls there, and most of them are in black collars. They should get a better lawyer who says things like Lawyer: O.J. to Spend Time Golfing. For some odd reason, the Arizona Business Journal has this story today: Arizona ranks above national average in STD cases. Must be that large retiree population. I thought crack was the cheapest drug out there? Because now they’re having a big sale: Lowered crack terms could free 20,000 early. If you can’t afford crack, just get a toad! KC Man Accused Of Toad Licking - not toe licking, silly! Don’t worry, toad lovers: “The toad is in custody at a police crime lab.” That’s an interesting news site, b/c they have a story on a 5-woman carjacking in Harlem - Missouri, that is. It’s not just hell up in Harlem, though - girls are going wild with crime everywhere. This priest admitted to having sex - with inmates. But they are female!