Go wild!

Really

NESS CITY, Kan. - A man whose girlfriend authorities say spent nearly two years in a bathroom in their house, sitting on the toilet so long that the seat adhered to her body, has been charged with mistreatment of a dependent adult.

Sgt Whipple … “dependent” … I’m just sayin’ …

Sheriff Bryan Whipple has said that he used a pry bar to remove the seat from the toilet, and that the woman was taken to the hospital with the seat still attached.

“She would have to be sleeping on the toilet,” Whipple said.

Source

I can’t wait until this dumb son of a bitch is out of office:

President George W. Bush will acknowledge on Wednesday the Iraq war has been fought at a high cost but will insist a U.S. troop buildup has opened the door to a “major strategic victory” against Islamic militants.

“The successes we are seeing in Iraq are undeniable,” Bush will say in an upbeat assessment of the U.S.-led campaign in a speech marking the fifth anniversary of the war, according to excerpts released on Tuesday.

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“The surge has done more than turn the situation in Iraq around — it has opened the door to a major strategic victory in the broader war on terror,” Bush will say.

Mission fucking accomplished all over again.

Obviously, President Dumbshit hasn’t a clue about what the word “strategic” means. He invaded a country with no connection to al Qaida and its network of Islamic terrorists in order to topple a regime which was both frightened of and hostile to radical Islamists it viewed as a serious threat, and who in turn viewed Iraq’s corrupt, brutal, Baathist dictator as a heretic marked for death.

By toppling the regime and destabilizing the country and the region, Bush ignited a series of violent reactions which, according to our own National Intelligence Estimate, inspired a new series of Islamist militants and eased al Qaida’s task of recruiting more jihadists by the thousands.

Now, after an investment numbering in the trillions of dollars and thousands of American lives, the commitment of the vast majority of our military has marginally stabilized a largely failed political state in Iraq, a country which is still beset by widespread violence which can be viewed as a positive development only in light of the even more appalling levels of violence during the prior year of our occupation.

So, basically, vis a vis the Islamic militants, we’ve killed many of those our actions helped to create, we’re still militarily bogged down in Iraq, and the numbers of terrorist attacks as tallied by our own counterterrorist agencies worldwide are now measured by the tens of thousands, geometrically higher than the two hundred and eight terrorist attacks which occurred world wide in 2002, before we invaded Iraq.

So, to sum up, we’ve expended a ton of resources, turned millions of Iraqis into refugees, lost 4000 of our finest young people, and the number of terrorist attacks world wide jumped from 208 in 2002 to over 14,000 by our own last tally.

And this stupid motherfucker calls this a strategic victory?

MORE: As Bush chumbles moronically about “strategic victory” in Iraq, another strategic failure there — the latest attempt at reconciliation between warring factions is an utter failure:

A no-reconciliation conference

Influential Shiite and Sunni groups boycotted a conference on Iraqi reconciliation Tuesday, as U.S. Vice President Dick Cheney traveled north to meet with Kurdish leaders.

Members of the main Sunni Arab parliament coalition, Tawafiq, refused to attend the two-day meeting because of complaints about the Shiite-dominated government.

Shiite Muslim cleric Muqtada Sadr’s bloc walked out of the conference, saying it did not want a ceremonial presence. The same went for a contingent led by Sheik Ali Hatem Sulaiman, a representative of Sunni Muslim tribes that rose up against the Sunni insurgent group Al Qaeda in Iraq.

The boycott was symptomatic of the rifts and enmity among Iraqi parties, which are organized along ethnic and religious lines and have delayed progress in power sharing between the country’s Shiite majority and the formerly ruling Sunnis.

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Prime Minister Nouri Maliki’s government has dwindled since last summer to a core group of Shiite and Kurdish politicians. But the Shiite prime minister’s relationship with the Kurds has become strained over matters such as Iraq’s stalled oil legislation and the country’s northern boundaries.

Maliki’s detractors describe him as being hindered by an inner circle that does not like to share power and is fiercely sectarian. His supporters argue that he is trying to build a strong government and that other parties are standing in the way for selfish reasons.

Science fiction giant dead at age 90.

Arthur C. Clarke, a visionary science fiction writer who wrote ”2001: A Space Odyssey” and won worldwide acclaim with more than 100 books on space, science and the future, died Wednesday, an aide said. He was 90.

Clarke, who had battled debilitating post-polio syndrome for years, died at 1:30 a.m. in his adopted home of Sri Lanka after suffering breathing problems, aide Rohan De Silva said.

The 1968 story ”2001: A Space Odyssey” — written simultaneously as a novel and screenplay with director Stanley Kubrick — was a frightening prophesy of artificial intelligence run amok.

One year after it made Clarke a household name in fiction, the scientist entered the homes of millions of Americans alongside Walter Cronkite anchoring television coverage of the Apollo mission to the moon.

MOSCOW (Reuters) - Igor Volodin believes vodka is no more harmful than chocolate. He is proud to be the first Russian to produce the spirit in a special women’s version, designed to be sipped with salad after a workout in the gym.

Touted as a glamour product for upwardly mobile women in booming Russia, Damskaya or “Ladies” vodka worries doctors, who fear a fresh wave of female alcoholics in a country already suffering one of the world’s worst drink problems.

Source

According to the Center for Disease Control, a quarter of teenage girls — more than 3 million — have a sexually transmitted disease. There doesn’t appear to be any corresponding research for teenage boys.

The numbers likely seem overwhelming

CHICAGO (AP) — At least one in four teenage girls nationwide has a sexually transmitted disease, or more than 3 million teens, according to the first study of its kind in this age group.

A virus that causes cervical cancer is by far the most common sexually transmitted infection in teen girls ages 14 to 19, while the highest overall prevalence is among black girls — nearly half the blacks studied had at least one STD. That rate compared with 20% among both whites and Mexican-American teens, the study from the federal Centers for Disease Control and Prevention found.

About half of the girls acknowledged ever having sex; among them, the rate was 40%. While some teens define sex as only intercourse, other types of intimate behavior including oral sex can spread some infections.

For many, the numbers likely seem “overwhelming because you’re talking about nearly half of the sexually experienced teens at any one time having evidence of an STD,” said Dr. Margaret Blythe, an adolescent medicine specialist at Indiana University School of Medicine and head of the American Academy of Pediatrics’ committee on adolescence.

I hate to come off like a prude or seem naive, but I find the fact that 3 million teenage girls have or have had a sexually transmitted disease a bit disturbing.

WICHITA, Kan. (AP) — Deputies say a woman in western Kansas became stuck on her boyfriend’s toilet after sitting on it for two years. Ness County Sheriff Bryan Whipple said the 35-year-old Ness City woman initially refused emergency medical services but was finally convinced by responders and her boyfriend that she needed to be checked out at a hospital. “We pried the toilet seat off with a pry bar and the seat went with her to the hospital,” Whipple said. “The hospital removed it.” “She was not glued. She was not tied. She was just physically stuck by her body,” Whipple said. “It is hard to imagine. … I still have a hard time imagining it myself . . . According to him, she did not want to leave the bathroom.”

UPDATE (P): MORE FROM THE ASSOCIATED PRESS

But McFarren said Babcock moved around in the bathroom during that time, bathed and changed into the clothes he brought her. He said they conversed and had an otherwise normal relationship — except that it all happened in the bathroom.