Defeat Gay Marriage — Vote No on California Proposition 8

I should start this out by admitting that I am against Gay Marriage.

However, in my defense, I should also make it clear that I am against Straight Marriage as well.

At first glance my opposition to gay marriage may stand in contrast to my opposition to Proposition 8. But not if you think about it.

If the religious zealots really want to put the taste of the bitter root in the mouths of gay marriage advocates, they should encourage them to get married, not make it illegal.

Making something illegal just adds the spicy tang of taboo to it. Like when you were teenagers, getting it on in your parents bedroom while they were at the club playing golf.

Actually having gays get married will ruin peoples’ sex lives, destroy them financially, and turn them irredeemably against marriage, all while pumping $$$ into the economy via the excessive spending habits of divorce lawyers!

Bottom line: gay Californians should have every right to get married, join the military and volunteer for suicide missions, or become subjects for high risk medical experiments that straight people do. It’s only fair.

And before anyone tries to pull the “what about the children” line, one of the best set of parents I ever met was a same sex couple whose son was on my son’s soccer team. Not only did the kid have the advantage of two soccer moms, they were some of the awesomest team parents ever, making banners, throwing team parties, in addition to being two of the nicest people ever. They both had successful careers, and their son was a happy, well adjusted kid. Gay people can have or father children and can also make awesome (or not so awesome) parents, just like straight people.

So vote against Proposition 8 whether you are for or against gay marriage. It’s the right thing to do.