Category: bad ads

Chubby Chaser

FORT PIERCE, Fla. — A 300-pound prostitute robbed a man of $100 before pedaling away on a blue bicycle, according to a police report.

The case of the hefty hooker happened about 1:10 a.m. Monday as the 32-year-old man rode his bicycle when the assailant came up to him. “The female approached asking (the alleged victim) did he want a date, which meant she wanted him to pay for some sex,” the report states.

The man told investigators he felt sorry for the woman and pulled $10 from his wallet to give to her. That’s when she allegedly pushed him off his bicycle and wrestled him down. She snatched his wallet, stole $100 and then pedaled off. The alleged victim, who wasn’t injured, described his assailant as weighing 300 pounds and clad in blue jeans and a white T-shirt. An officer searched the area but couldn’t find the woman.

There are so many things wrong with this.

Felt sorry?
No one saw a 300 lb woman on a bicycle?
That means she got far.

Quizno, no, no!

I’m a big fan of Hungrygirl. Being one myself, I like their daily emails with food info, esp because they include lots of junk food. That’s where I get those “today is national carbonated beverages with caffeine day!” things (that actually is today, no joke.) So when I read this about Quizno’s, I almost choked:

In a surprising turn of events, Quiznos, one of the fast food sandwich chains known for keeping their nutrition information hush-hush, has FINALLY gone public with their nutritional stats. The good news is, now you can check out their site and decide which items work for you and which ones you should avoid. Just click on a food category under “MENU”, scroll to the bottom of the page, and hit “Show Nutrition Information”. The bad news is, we found some shockingly horrifying stats there… be prepared to cry real tears, people:

Honey Mustard Dressing - OMG! Each serving of this stuff ALONE has 500 calories and 50g fat!!!! AHHHHHH! We’re too freaked out to say anything else about it.

Tuna Melt Sub - A large one has 2,090 calories & 175g fat!!!! ! Ummmm… that is the most frightening tuna stat EVER.

Flatbread - If you order one of their Flatbread Chopped Salads, know that the bread alone adds 330 calories and 12g fat to your meal, so don’t eat all FOUR pieces (yikes!).

Who does these?

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Someone at Google News sure has a good sense of humor!

More bad ad placement

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If I made it bigger, the ad along the side gets covered up by our menu bar, but I think you get it. There’s little kids in the cave, too.

Orangina - le plushe edition?

It’s got furries, it’s got pole dancing, it’s got bears and bambis and … it’s so wrong:

“Be sure to check our Aquadots at the candy counter!”

Because whatever movie theater this double feature is playing in would surely have them:

More about…

Bratz the Movie »
Caligula Movie »

You gotta love gmail’s “smart” ads. On one hand they creep me out, and on the other, I’m hoping there’s some pervy guy in little round glasses in a back room somewhere, getting his occasional kicks by putting ads like that alongside people’s email.

I’ve been on vacation …

Actually, I was applying for a job that Apollo Sputnik sent me from Craiglist.

Japanese TV show looks for a performer (Breast flexing)

A popular Japanese TV show looks for a lady who are capabable of bouncing her breasts by flexing.

This TV show is one of the popular shows in Japan, airs everyweek nationwide at 8pm. The show features unbelievable things (vary from serious to funny) from all over the world and this time, they want to have someone on their show, who can move their breasts easyly without using any props, only by easy flexing.

The TV show bears all the expenses and there’s appropriate compensation too.

Anyone who thinks it’s a good opportunity to visit Japan by your capabability of this performance, please send your mpeg video or website link (see here.)

Ad placement of the week award

Don’t tell me this was by accident: On MSNBC’s website page about the apprehension of child-molester-videotaper Chester Arthur Stiles, an advertisement for baby and kiddie costumes:

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