I’ve suffered from headaches ever since I was a kid. Spent a summer in and out of the hospital when I was seven due to headaches and I’ve had them off and on ever since.
Never could figure out of that were migraines or tension headaches, but they hurt like a motherfucker. I get really bad headaches from caffeine withdrawal, too, which is why I’ve gone without real coffee for over two years. I miss espresso dearly, but I was drinking them all day, just to avoid the headaches.
~~~
So, the other day I’m standing on the sidelines at a football game with another blistering headache. And I turn to the coach standing next to me and ask “You got any aspirin or Tylenol or something.”
He goes, “I’ve got something better.”
This worried me, slightly. This particular coach is one of the few lifelong vegetarians to ever hail from West Virginia. His home remedies for football injuries are often a unique blend of health food store elixir and down home Southern concoction.
He reaches into his first aid kit, rummages around and hands me a piece of folded up wax paper with a powder inside.
Basically, it looked like he handed me some blow.
Reading my mind, he says, “Just dump the powder into your mouth and let it dissolve. Don’t drink any water until it’s just about all gone. Then wash it down.”
I do as he says, expecting both the best and the worst.
~~~
Five minutes later, the skull-buster is gone.
I mean, cured. I feel fine.
I ask him, “What was that shit?’
“Goody’s Headache Powder,” he tells me.
I really don’t know much about this stuff. He told me it’s big in NASCAR — whatever that means — and you can tell by that link their playing the Petty card big time. All I know is, the shit works.
It’s some kind of combination of aspirin, aceti … acetim … acetaminophen and caffeine. The key to the whole thing though (and if this is wrong, blame the coach, not me — I didn’t exactly look it up) is that the whole concoction is absorbed straight into your head through your mouth. Nothing goes down into your stomach to be absorbed into the bloodstream to finally make it’s way to your noggin’ and also the rest of your body. It just goes right to your head.
Again, kinda like blow.
(You actually can snort it, he said.)
~~~
Back in the day, he told me, you could only find it down south. I don’t know where he got his.
But, he says, you can now get it locally. I’m gonna find out where and get me some.
