Or, attention Kathryn Lopez.

Pricing for infallible text messages starts at just 49 cents.

As provided by Mark Halperin of Time Magazine:

“I’m not an economist, but I do believe that we’re growing… It’s not growing the way it should, and I’m sorry people are paying as high gas prices as they are.”

Says government should not bail out private firms, and denied the Fannie Mae/Freddie Mac support package is a bailout, just “temporary assistance.”

Jokes: “I’m 62, I’m having trouble remembering things.”

“The president doesn’t have a magic wand. I can’t just say, ‘low gas.’”

And my personal faves:

Wants to let the first economic stimulus package “runs its course” before considering a second.

Declines to ask Americans to conserve energy, says it would be “presumptuous” to tell people what decisions to make.

Has anyone other than Geraldine Ferraro more outlived his or her usefulness than Ralph Nader?

Just sayin’.

Robert Wyland, who paints whale pictures for tourist galleries, is having a spat with California’s DMV over the whale-tail license plate:

One of California’s most popular specialty license plates depicting the tail of a Pacific humpback whale rising out of misty waters could soon become as endangered as the mammoth mammal.

Robert Wyland, the artist who created the pale blue image and gave it to the state more than a decade ago to help it raise money for marine programs, is now demanding 20 percent of any future revenue for his art foundation.

Fair enough, but here’s the part that caught my eye:

“I would just say it would be like Picasso lending one of his pieces for a license plate and them saying we’re not donating to the Picasso Foundation,” said Wyland, an official artist for the United States Olympic Team for the 2008 Games. “They’re saying ‘We can get anyone to paint a Picasso.’ Well you could, but it wouldn’t be a Picasso.”

This is exactly right, except for the fact that Pablo Picasso never made license plates, never commissioned his work for keychains, and the fact Wyland is to Picasso what Pauley Shore is to Charles Chaplin.

Unbe-fucking-lievable.

God only knows what Ms. 3AM was thinking about. Even super-Hillaryite Marsh Taylor is at a loss:

Is this thing over yet? That’s what many are feeling today, as everyone is as close to the breaking point with fatigue as it comes. We need a long weekend. Clinton’s statement today reveals our collective fatigue and was unbelievably unfortunate. Looking at her make her statement of regret you can see her pain and that she is devastated by what she said, which is clear in the statement below from the Clinton camp.

~~~

Take the lady at her word. She made a horrible mistake that she regrets. We could all use a day off, which I hope this long weekend will supply.

At least Taylor has the sense to recognize a Clinton foot-in-a-Clinton mouth when she sees it. And on Talk Left, another Clintonista hotbed, Armando recognizes an “unfortunate, inappropriate statement by Senator Clinton” was “simply is an indefensible remark, and in very poor taste.”

Reason usually prevails where reasonable people are involved.

In contrast, the batshit crazy continues over at No Quarter, where a batshit crazy post about Clintion’s appalling statement by the inaptly named “truthteller” is titled like one of Kim il Jong’s batshit crazy slogans: “Typical Obama Supporters Willfully Misinterpret Clinton Open Thread” begins “Obama supporters are sexist and violent,” blaming anyone-other-than-Hillary for what is, seen in the best possible light, an “indefensible remark,” a “horrible mistake” which was “unbelievably unfortunate,” before it spirals into a lame pissing match with an anonymous commentator on one of NQ’s increasingly banal and insane threads.

At this point, it seems obvious to me that Hillary is only hurting Hillary. I don’t think she intended her comment maliciously, it was just an incredibly stupid thing to say, the kind of thing which is a natural by product of grasping at straws and twisting logic at every turn to justify staying in the race and seeking to overturn the results of the caucuses and primaries as measured by the once agreed-upon metric of delegate counts. Trying to justify staying in the race because Bobby got whacked probably seemed logical for the nanosecond it took to shoot out of her brain and come out of her mouth.

The perception her statement creates doesn’t require any “willful misinterpretation,” even if her remark was not as ill-intended as it was perceived. But it underscores why it is time for Hillary to end her campaign and surrender the limelight, before she kills (her own image and goodwill) again.

KANSAS CITY, Missouri (Reuters) - A Missouri car dealer said on Thursday sales have soared at his auto and truck business since launching a promotion this week that promises buyers a free handgun or a $250 gas card with every purchase.

Well, duh – you can hold up gas stations and get a lot more than $250 worth of free gas, as well as the register contents, should you be an actual thief and not just a car owner.

Oh yes she did:

Clinton compares the Florida and Michigan fight to civil rights movement.

Hillary Clinton compared her effort to seat Florida and Michigan delegates to epic American struggles, including those to free the slaves and win the right to vote for blacks and women.

“This work to extend the franchise to all of our citizens is a core mission of the modern Democratic party,” she said. “From signing the Voting Rights Act and fighting racial discrimination at the ballot box to lowering the voting age so those old enough to fight and die in war would have the right to choose their commander in chief, to fighting for multi-lingual ballots so you can make your voice heard no matter what language you speak.”

Just appalling. There ought to a law similar to Godwin’s law when self-interested egomaniacs invoke the civil rights movement to further their own obsessive quests for power.

Call it “Sharpton’s Law,” or something.

Batshit crazy:

The whole movie should be an allegory about the hell Obama has promised to unleash on the Iraqi people should he win the election. Great stories ask and answer what if…? What if we abandoned millions of innocents to Iranian backed jihadists? What if we abandoned them because it was just too hard to liberate them? What if, thanks to weak-kneed liberal politicians, those millions of innocents fed into a meat grinder were Americans?

In my hands it would be set in Manhattan because an island’s easier for the terrorists to defend and chock-full of appeasers in desperate need of a wake-up call. The scene with a herd of Greenwich Village liberals being shoved into burqas writes itself.

Crazy is thinking that the world needs a remake of Red Dawn, Batshit Crazy is the two paragraphs above. Via Whiskey Fire.

The Editors have an awesome new comic up.

Shorter Hillary Clinton: “I am more appealing to White People, especially uneducated ones.”

And it’s not just the Hillary. Her supporters are actually lurching down this path, too. Talk Left, via Oliver Willis:

In Pennsylvania, Clinton won whites 18-29 (52-48), 30-44 (58-42), 45-59 (63-37), 60+ (68-32). In North Carolina, whites 18-29, just 8% of the vote, went for Obama 57-41. But whites 30-44 went for Clinton (52-45), 45-59 (64-33), 60+ (69-29).

More Oliver:

I’ve crunched the numbers, looked them over again and again, then again with a sprinkling of eye of newt and found the weakness in Barack Obama’s candidacy:

He’s getting too many votes.

In 32 out of the 47 contests more people have voted and caucused for Sen. Obama than for Sen. Clinton. Why is the media not reporting on this? They spend so much time on the slicing and dicing of the electorate highlighting ad nauseam which blocs are voting for and against a candidate when the writing is on the wall.

More people are voting for Sen. Obama and that’s a huge problem in the fall. If we extrapolate this trend, it’s possible that he could, in the general election, have more votes than any other presidential candidate in history! The nomination process will be a mockery of the highest order if Howard Dean and the DNC sit back and allow the person with the most votes and most supporters to walk away with the nomination. This isn’t what we all signed up for.

I wasn’t paying attention too closely, but how, all of a sudden, is Hillary the progressive trying to buck the establishment while, in the eyes of the Clintonistas, Obama is somehow the insider, a corporate machine candidate reincarnation reminiscent of some of the worst excesses of Tameny Hall?

I don’t get it.