PGA Tour golfer Tripp Isenhour was charged with killing a hawk on purpose with a golf shot because it was making noise as he videotaped a TV show.

According to court documents, Isenhour got upset when a red-shouldered hawk began making noise, forcing another take. He began hitting balls at the bird, then 300 yards away, but gave up.

Isenhour started again when the hawk moved within about 75 yards, Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission officer Brian Baine indicated in a report.

Isenhour allegedly said “I’ll get him now,” and aimed for the hawk.

“About the sixth ball came very near the bird’s head, and [Isenhour] was very excited that it was so close,” Baine wrote.

A few shots later, witnesses said he hit the hawk. The bird, protected as a migratory species, fell to the ground bleeding from both nostrils.

But apparently, it was Hillary Rodham Clinton who inherited the Cheney fearmongering gene.

… why not to get an enema in Russia (you know, to be added to the long list you already have):

Unhealthy enemas put tourists in hospital

Thu Jan 31, 2008 5:02pm EST

MOSCOW (Reuters) - Russians visiting a health resort received a rude shock when a nurse used hydrogen peroxide instead of water to give them enemas.

Itar-Tass news agency reported Thursday that 17 tourists in the Caucasus spa town of Yessentuki had to be treated in hospital after the mix-up.

Sources at the sanatorium said the mistake was explained by water and hydrogen peroxide looking the same.

Oh, that silly mistake. And liquid opium looks exactly like Coca-Cola, but sadly, I’ve never been given an opiate on the rocks.

HAMILTON, N.J. (AP) — A civilian New Jersey State Police employee is accused of sneaking into a church to look at pornography on a nun’s computer. Police arrested Thomas G. Findler Wednesday and charged him with burglary and theft. Authorities say Findler had been sneaking into Grace St. Paul Episcopal Church in the night over the last three weeks to look at pornography. Wednesday morning, a church custodian found Findler, who worships at the church, on a nun’s computer. The custodian chased him out, right into a police officer who happened to be nearby.

I wonder how you treat a disorder like this …

Man charged with sending diaper photo ordered to get treatment

January 27, 2008

ENFIELD, N.H.—A Vermont man convicted of harassing a teenager by e-mailing her a picture of himself in a diaper has been ordered to seek treatment for a sexual disorder.
more stories like this

Lawrence Robarge of White River Junction had been sentenced to 180 days in jail, but a judge instead ordered Robarge to undergo a sexual disorder evaluation and comply with the recommended treatment.

Robarge was accused of sending 16 sexual text messages to a 17-year-old girl in Enfield last September, including pictures of himself wearing a diaper. He pleaded guilty to misdemeanor stalking last week.

——

Information from: WMUR-TV, http://wmur.com

AP updated 6:49 a.m. PT, Fri., Jan. 11, 2008

AMSTERDAM, Netherlands - A man claiming to be a Catholic priest was arrested Friday at Amsterdam’s Schiphol Airport after he was caught carrying 3.5 kilograms of cocaine under his robes, a spokesman for Dutch border police said.

The suspect, whose identity was being traced, initially refused to undergo a routine body check “for religious reasons,” spokesman Robert van Kapel said.

He said the man was then spotted lining up at a different entrance gate. He was searched and the drugs were found in packages taped to his body.

“We’ve seen a lot of things, baseballs filled with cocaine, wine bottles, plaster casts, but this is a first,” Van Kapel said.

He said the man, who was traveling from Bolivia, continued to insist he is a priest and did not confess any wrongdoing, arguing his rights had been violated by the search.

Van Kapel said that was bunk.

“If you want to enter (Europe) you have to pass a security check, you have to cooperate and you can’t refuse a body search,” he said. “He’ll be brought before a judge today.”

It’s hard buying gifts for people. I’ve already decided what I want for xmas, but what to buy for my fellow MR’s? Since giftcards to Liquor Mart are a little out of my range, I’m thinking of another group activity that can bring us all together … maybe a board game?

“Is the Pope Catholic!?! - The Catholic Nostalgia game. The objective is to become the Pope, starting as an altar boy, and advancing by answering questions that require a Catholic background to appreciate.”

I wonder what would happen if we mixed it up a little, say, with this ol’ chestnut:

Exciting! Ha! My friend and I tried to play this one as young ‘uns. Sadly, all we had was a case of warm Narragansett Beer.

I don’t remember this game at all:

“The game where you create what your opponents draw or charade. Situations occur in a barroom, bedroom, dating or outdoors. Definitely an adult game!”

Paul’s Last Minute Gift Giving Additions:

Purchase both titles here

Oh, it’s time to read the news from “back home.” I’m thinking cocoa with Fluff, a nice warm fireside, snow on the trees … but NO!

Critics of the Rotenberg school say the case shows that school officials have failed to live up to their public promises to deliver electric shocks only sparingly and with great oversight.

WHAT?!

Prank led school to treat two with shock
Special ed center duped, report says

Two special education students at the controversial Judge Rotenberg Educational Center in Canton were wrongfully delivered dozens of punishing electrical shocks in August based on a prank phone call from a former student posing as a supervisor, a state investigative report has found.

School staffers contacted state authorities after they realized they had been tricked on Aug. 26 into delivering 77 shocks to one student and 29 shocks to another, according to Cindy Campbell, a spokeswoman for the Department of Early Education and Care, which drafted the report. Both students were part of a Rotenberg-run group home in Stoughton for males under age 22.

The Judge Rotenberg center, which serves about 250 adults and children from across the country, has been under fire for more than two decades for its unorthodox behavior-modification treatments, including electric shock treatments. Its defenders say that the school takes in troubled students, some with self-damaging behavior, who have been rejected by other schools. The center, which Massachusetts officials have tried twice to close because of its treatment methods, focuses on serving people with autism, mental retardation, and emotional problems. Ernest Corrigan, a spokesman for the Rotenberg center, said the school contacted law enforcement “within hours” after discovering the prank, and that such an incident has never before happened at the school. Corrigan said they have instituted new safeguards to prevent such occurrences. He also said that while the school regrets the incident, the two male students who received the wrongful shocks did not experience any serious physical harm and did not need medical treatment afterwards.

The shock devices, which are strapped to some students’ arms, legs, or torsos, deliver two-second electric jolts to the skin. The devices are controlled remotely by teachers.

State officials said the identity of the prankster is known to law enforcement authorities, but they would not release his name publicly and he has not been arrested. The identity of the staffer who was fooled into administering the shocks has also not been released. State officials indicated that some disciplinary action took place, though they would not specify what it was.

Source

Police expect no charges in youth group diaper skit

Saturday, December 08, 2007
By Mary Niederberger, Pittsburgh Post-Gazette

A skit at a local Christian youth group meeting had teenage boys taking off some of their clothes, wearing adult diapers, bibs and bonnets and being spoon-fed by girls as they sat in their laps.

Some say it’s just crazy, goofy teenage fun. But others, including one boy’s mother and the Mt. Lebanon School District, aren’t comfortable with it. The skit took place during the Nov. 29 meeting of the Mt. Lebanon Young Life club, a nondenominational Christian youth group directed by youth minister O.J. Wandrisco.

Laurie Metz, whose 14-year-old son was one of the boys who took part in the skit, said she found it inappropriate, demeaning and sexually perverse. Mr. Wandrisco and a national spokesman for Young Life say the skits are all in fun and meant to be used as “icebreakers” at the youth group meetings.

He declined to comment on the Mt. Lebanon teens being asked to undress before they put on the diapers and bibs or whether he thought the Mt. Lebanon skit was appropriate.

Ms. Metz said at the Nov. 29 Young Life meeting, after her son and two other boys were selected to take part in the skit, they were taken to a rest room by an older teen and given adult diapers, bibs and bonnets and directed to take their clothes off and put the diapers, bibs and bonnets on. Her son took off his pants, but kept on boxer undershorts, his shirt, shoes and socks.

The boys returned to the group, where they were asked to sit in the laps of three girls. The girls spoon-fed baby food to the boys and then gave them baby bottles filled with soda pop. The first boy to finish was the winner.

“The whole premise of the skit is questionable,” Ms. Metz said. “I see no purpose that it would serve, especially not in a Christian youth group setting. It’s perverse.”

She said even if there is no police action taken, she felt it important to speak out so that other parents know what goes on at the meetings. She said at an earlier meeting girls ate jelly beans in chocolate pudding out of adult diapers.

Mr. Wandrisco, in an interview, acknowledged that the Nov. 29 skit had taken place as Ms. Metz described and that the group had also participated at an earlier date in the skit that involved eating chocolate pudding out of diapers.

Source

“They took the bar, the whole fucking bar.”

In what can only be described as a crime against nature, hundreds of bottles of Jack Daniels — some of it a century old — might be poured down the drain.

Channel 4 News in Nashville has the story:

Here’s a sobering thought: Hundreds of bottles of Jack Daniel’s whiskey, some of it almost 100 years old, may be unceremoniously poured down a drain because authorities suspect it was being sold by someone without a license.

Officials seized 2,400 bottles late last month during warehouse raids in Nashville and Lynchburg, the southern Tennessee town where the whiskey is distilled.

“Punish the person, not the whiskey,” said an outraged Kyle MacDonald, 28, a Jack Daniel’s drinker from British Columbia who promotes the whiskey on his blog. “Jack never did anything wrong, and the whiskey itself is innocent.”

Indeed, Mr. MacDonald, the whiskey is innocent.

The whiskey never hurt anyone.

In fact, it may be argued that the whiskey has life-sustaining powers more powerful than any herb, vitamin or elixir.

Issues of health aside, the disposing of century-old Jack Daniels that never hurt anyone and exists only to bring a little light into our otherwise bleak lives is a sin. I liken it to burning perfectly good weed, just because someone was selling it illegally.

Think of the good work that could be done with the whiskey. Think of the money that could be raised by auctioning it off. Think of the spirits that could be lifted simply by letting bloggers in L.A. drink it.

I’ve got a friend with Kansas City connections. And every time he returns from the Midwest, he brings me a bottle of Jack, from a vintage not available easily in Los Angeles. How I look forward to that first, smooth sip … it’s mother’s milk.

Tonight, I’ll go home and pour myself a few fingers of the amber liquid. And I’ll lift the glass to my lips and drink, slowly to savor the smooth taste. And as I roll my friend Jack around my mouth before swallowing, I’ll say a little prayer for innocent whiskey wasted.