Via Sadly No, Pat Boone writing for World Nut Daily compares Barrack Obama to the ever-dangerous Pied Piper of Hamelin:

On the citizens then refusing to pay the money, the piper took up his pipe once more and led the way out of the town followed by 130 children [who] vanished forever.

Another very sobering, troubling similarity: This Illinois magician seems to have captured the imagination and adulation of a large segment of America’s young. Where he says he’ll lead, they are lining up to follow – though nobody knows where that is. He hasn’t been there himself, but he paints a mystical, attractive picture of a united, harmonious, progressive land where all needs are magically attended by a loving government. Almost socialistic nirvana, though he doesn’t use those words.

~~~

And to my real dismay, I’ve heard from mature, knowledgeable people, even some Republicans, who are so impressed with the magician’s ability to “involve our young people in the political process” that they’re endorsing his candidacy, all the while confessing that they disagree with him on “many fundamental issues”! What in the heck is going on? Some kind of voodoo?

~~~~

And now, defending his staunch support for abortion for any woman or girl who wants it, he has uttered, “I’m going to teach [my daughters] … about values and morals, but if they make a mistake, I don’t want them punished with a baby!” His ideas of morality and right behavior don’t include accepting responsibility for “making mistakes,” apparently. No, let the innocent unborn pay the price, not his daughter.

It’s not entirely clear on whether Pat thinks Obama will make America’s youth mysteriously disappear, is using Unwholesome African Witchcraft to mesmerize good, upstanding White People, and will drown the unborn in a river, or if he figures the Pied Piper was somekind of pinko bastard who led the children of Hamelin into a heretofore unknown form of communist enslavement.

Classic pantswetting from the wettest pants of all:

“Muslims are out to steal my pate!”

Actual Roger L. Simon, upon “learning” (if that applies to anything gleaned from the NY Sun Myung Moon) that Muslims supposedly constitute 10% of NY City’s public school population:

“Should we now be closing our eyes and looking forward to the imposition of Sharia Law at Zabar’s?

I blush to admit I haven’t read any of Robert Ferrigno’s futuristic thrillers yet, in which the author envisions courageous holdouts battling inside an Islamic US. Maybe I should.”

My advice: if it involves courage, El Raj, it ain’t up your alley.

PGA Tour golfer Tripp Isenhour was charged with killing a hawk on purpose with a golf shot because it was making noise as he videotaped a TV show.

According to court documents, Isenhour got upset when a red-shouldered hawk began making noise, forcing another take. He began hitting balls at the bird, then 300 yards away, but gave up.

Isenhour started again when the hawk moved within about 75 yards, Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission officer Brian Baine indicated in a report.

Isenhour allegedly said “I’ll get him now,” and aimed for the hawk.

“About the sixth ball came very near the bird’s head, and [Isenhour] was very excited that it was so close,” Baine wrote.

A few shots later, witnesses said he hit the hawk. The bird, protected as a migratory species, fell to the ground bleeding from both nostrils.

I walk on in n see em there
Gonna give them all a thrill
When they see me comin
They all steps aside
They has a fit while I commit
My social suicide, Im a
Dancin fool, Im a
Dancin fool
The beat goes on
And Im so wrong
The beat goes on
And Im so wrong
The beat goes on n Im so wrong
The beat goes on n Im so wrong
The beat goes on n Im so wrong
I may be totally wrong, but Im a
Dancin fool, Im a
Dancin fool

– Frank Zappa, Dancin’ Fool

Gary Gygax is now dead as General Franco:

Gary Gygax, who co-created the fantasy game Dungeons & Dragons and helped start the role-playing phenomenon, died Tuesday at his home in Lake Geneva, Wis. He was 69.

Gygax and Dave Arneson developed Dungeons & Dragons in 1974 using medieval characters and mythical creatures. The game known for its oddly shaped dice became a hit, particularly among teenage boys with vivid imaginations, and eventually was turned into video games, books and movies.

This is the man who, other than religious figures, is responsible for more teenage boys not getting laid than any other person in history.

But at least he gave them something to do, while not having a sex life or developed social skills.

MACE WINDU : There is no doubt. The mysterious warrior was a Sith.
YODA : Always two there are….no more…no less. A master and an
apprentice.

MORE: Pretty clear who Bush views as the master.

MR’s girl reporter on assignment yesterday.

Read all about it here.

This proposal from Kos ought to get Bill O’Reilly in yet another spittle-fueled rage about “radical left-wing hate sites”:

With a history of meddling in our primaries, why don’t we try and return the favor. Next Tuesday, January 15th, Michigan will hold its primary. Michigan Democrats should vote for Mitt Romney, because if Mitt wins, Democrats win. How so?

For Michigan Democrats, the Democratic primary is meaningless since the DNC stripped the state of all its delegates (at least temporarily) for violating party rules. Hillary Clinton is alone on the ballot.

But on the GOP side, this primary will be fiercely contested. John McCain is currently enjoying the afterglow of media love since his New Hamsphire victory, while Iowa winner Mike Huckabee is poised to do well in South Carolina.

Meanwhile, poor Mitt Romney, who’s suffered back-to-back losses in the last week, desperately needs to win Michigan in order to keep his campaign afloat. Bottom line, if Romney loses Michigan, he’s out. If he wins, he stays in.

And we want Romney in, because the more Republican candidates we have fighting it out, trashing each other with negative ads and spending tons of money, the better it is for us. We want Mitt to stay in the race, and to do that, we need him to win in Michigan.

I like it. Meddling in the other party’s primary is sort of dirty pool, but in this instance it’s more like hoisting the bastards on their own petard. It would be a different story without the past history.

Not that primary meddling has been a purely GOP dirty trick. In California, Gray Davis did something similar in his last gubernatorial campaign. California doesn’t allow His coffers filled with money from the various special interests he pimped for and absent any serious Democratic challenge, during the primary season he ran ads attacking moderate Republican and former Los Angeles Mayor Mike Riordan and effectively tipped the scales in favor of Riordan’s batshit crazy right wing opponent, assuring a cakewalk in the general.

That kind of pissed me off, because Davis was an awful governor and Riordan was actually a viable alternative (especially when juxtaposed against the Governator, who eventually reaped the benefit from Davis’s underhandedness), but in the case of the GOP, and Romney/McCain, what’s the difference anyway?

They’re all for the war, all for keeping the corporate feed trough, distancing themselves from Bush while promising to continue his fucked up policies and pursue the same agenda.

Maybe my dad didn’t die in Iraq …

People will do crazy things to win concert tickets, though the winner of these contests typically are just the first person to offer to wash someone’s car in their underwear. I don’t know why this is so, though I suspect there is something vaguely dominating/submissive about having a Tri Delt wash some radio goons car in her best Victoria Secret while trying to win backstage passes to My Chemical Romance.

But then there is too far.

Like when a mother not only helps her teenage daughter write a contest essay, but encourages her to invoke the name of her dead father in an attempt to win Miley Cyrus / Hannah Montana tickets.

Texas mom Priscilla Ceballos apologized Friday (January 4) on NBC’s “Today” show for writing an essay falsely claiming the girl’s father had died in Iraq just so the girl could see Hannah (a.k.a. Miley Cyrus) in person. “I just wanted to help my daughter write a compelling story,” she said. The fabricated essay won the contest’s grand prize, which included airfare for four to Albany, New York, and four tickets to a sold-out Hannah Montana concert there, as well as a makeover that included a blond Hannah Montana wig. “Please accept my heartfelt apology and please do not punish my child for my mistake,” Ceballos urged on the show. …

Oh how I wish this were a joke. Not that I like this magazine, but “glamour” is one of my favorite words … and now it will be forever sullied.

Glamour has invited all the presidential candidates to guest-blog on Glamocracy; their postings will appear between now and Super Tuesday, February 5.

Today’s guest blogger is Mitt Romney.

Tell us what you think about this blog posting. And read what the Glamocracy bloggers have to say.

We’ve all heard that the number of uninsured Americans recently rose to 47 million. Like many Americans, I do not believe we can continue down this path. Too many mothers and fathers wake up worried that today may be the day they lose their current health care coverage and that tomorrow they won’t be able to take their child to the hospital if there is an emergency.

Read the rest here if you want.

Hmm - wait a minute. He’s only talking about health care, not fashion or grooming. Damn! I can think of some questions I’d like him to answer:

Governor Romney, can you tell us about that “Mormon underwear” that us non-Mormons hear about?

Regarding “Latter-Day Saints” - are there “Former-Day” ones, and who are they?

Do you listen to other Christmas albums besides the Mormon Tabernacle Choir?

What’s with that angel named “Moroni”?

Is it true your grandchildren call you “Ike” and your wife “Mamie?”

Do you know the Osmonds?